It takes talent.
Okay, It takes laziness and an overworked, overtired, underpaid unpubbed writer, but pretend with me, mmkay?
April Fool’s day has lasted all week and I am BURNT OUT! Seriously, can anything else go wrong? I’m not asking that or it will. So bear with me while I hash my way through my version of a Thursday 13.
1 3 Things you will NEVER see written in a romance novel
13)You slept with my Identical twin brother? Great, can I watch next time?
12)Nah, he’s just too rich, good-looking and Alpha male for me. I’ll take the pudgy balding guy with the nail fungus.
11) She looks like a He, COOL!! Hook me up!
10) No, really, I find man boobs very attractive.
9) Wash TUB abs, not wash BOARD
8 ) Not tonight, honey, my hemorrhoids are flaring up.
7) Uhm, is that a maggot in your ear?
6) Tallywacker – nuff said
5) Wait, let me take a Viagra.
4) Janie, I want to kiss you but you have to spit the Skoal out first.
3) camel toe
2) Let’s go for a 68. You do me and I’ll owe you one.
And the Number one thing you will never see in a Romance Novel
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1) He’s hung like a light switch! Hawt Day-um!
19 Comments
April 3, 2008 at 5:05 am
*snort* Love it! So many good ones, I can’t pick a favorite. Blogging while braindead seems to work for you just fine!
April 3, 2008 at 5:36 am
Oh I don’t know… some of those man tits aren’t too bad. It depends on if they are fat or muscle.
April 3, 2008 at 8:08 am
LOL – are you sure I can’t use #12? He sounds so attractive.
April 3, 2008 at 9:23 am
Don’t tempt me, lady… I might have to write a story with ALL of these in it! LOL!
April 3, 2008 at 10:22 am
OMG, you are a true comic genius! If this is what happens when you’re brain dead, we’re locking you in a sleep-deprivation tank and giving you your own television show. Loved every one of these.
April 3, 2008 at 11:17 am
HA! Inez, you’re awesome… and what’s cheating about this blog? I think my next hero is definitely going to have some kind of fungus… LOL.
April 3, 2008 at 11:28 am
Oh my LOL What a fun list. Happy T13!
April 3, 2008 at 1:42 pm
We all know that lightswitch fellas know how to maximize the use of certain, um, other anatomical aspects.
April 3, 2008 at 1:48 pm
OMG! You made me hyuck out loud. 3 and 6 tallywacker enough said. Right on the money. Funny. Wish I thought of it. Cheers.
April 3, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Ha! I did one kind of like this but it was things they say in books. I like the pasty, balding guy. That’s always a personal favorite for me.
AJ
April 3, 2008 at 2:18 pm
*ROFL* These are totally hilarious!
April 3, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I dunno. Are sure that SOMEONE isn’t going to have the twin thing/watching scene?
And NOW I totally want to write a hero who spits out his Skoal. LOL.
April 3, 2008 at 4:12 pm
LOL! These are outstanding, Inez.
April 3, 2008 at 4:13 pm
You’re too funny, Inez! What a way to bring out the smiles this morning. Hope your week gets better!
I’ve got birthday cake at my place today, stop by and have a piece!
April 3, 2008 at 5:28 pm
LMAO!
April 3, 2008 at 6:56 pm
That sounds like a challenge to me.
April 3, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Funny!
April 4, 2008 at 12:26 am
*snortspew*
Ow… my nose.
April 4, 2008 at 2:24 am
You bad girl!
LOL!