Cry for me, people. Sad really.
Yes I still have batteries and all that good stuff, but seriously, I want real sex. Real as in WITH A PARTNER! Wasn’t that supposed to be part of this marriage thing?
Okay, I NEED real sex by next Tuesday, period.
Why the deadline? Because in my estimation, that is when I will hit the BIG O chapter in my current WIP. For me, it is hard to write really intense passionate loving sex scenes when it has been waaaaaaaay too long in between marital cookies to borrow AJ’s term. My Hubby travels for work, I arrange my schedule monthly around his, ergo, we do not often have a night home together. Awful hard to have a mutual orgasm when you are in two separate places.
To try and relate this to writing, since that is what I am supposed to be writing on, it is awfully hard to write that same intense scene if your two main characters are not on the same page mentally or physically. In this WIP, although both H and h are lusting over one another, one wants the physical end more. And surprise, it is not the HERO!! Yup, I have a horny heroine who is doing her damnedest(is that spelled right?) to seduce the hero. He is holding back as admirably as he can, but, yeah, things are getting a bit HARD to handle. *snicker like a 12 yr old boy*
Among friends, some express concern for this heroine’s marketability. She has such, well, masculine, ideas on sex. I am still trying to figure out why men get to monopolize the corner on sexual urges. Hello!! They peak out at 18! Women hit their stride much later in life, when they understand their bodies more and appreciate the experience they have. Why should I curb my heroine’s normal appetites? It’s not like she is standing on a street corner with a mattress tied to her butt popping Spanish flies. She is an aggressive, sexually confident woman who has no issues with consenting adults behaving in a responsible and yet adventurous manner. She ain’t cheap or easy but there is no playing hard to get either.
How many of us loathe the timid virgin brides of romance yesteryear? They fall under the guiding hand of a sexually sophisticated hero and are suddenly tranformed into a sex kitten in bed. Uhm, yeah, sure, Okay, but…
What’s wrong with actually being that kitten? My character does face repercussions from her actions from peers, but she is unapologetic. She is who she is and since she doesn’t have to sit home watching reruns of Sex in the City unless she wants to, who cares? Her skirt is no shorter than yours, her blouse no more revealing. She doesn’t seduce or target married men and she does recall all her lovers names. There is a difference between confident and hooker.
With all the erotica and romantica being sold today, I refuse to believe that today’s reader only wants to read about strong sexual men. They have lived through the 60’s and 80’s and cut their teeth on MTV and Youtubes like I’m F**king Matt Damon. These are not the repressed flowers who wait for a knight on a white stallion. Today’s readers carpool six 5 years olds, mow the grass and fix the damn sink when their Significant Other is too busy or too preoccupied. They take their lives into their hands so why not their sexuality? They do in real life. So the heroines of romance whom they look to for escape should not be some nervous Nelly. If men have found the Bedroom Divas alluring for centuries, why should that woman be hidden behind a “nice” girl facade in today’s romance? Luckily this is changing although slooooooooowly. Very very few romances that I have read have a heroine who is unafraid to admit she has had more lovers than her partner. (I am open to suggestions for my TBR pile)
There is no connection between being “nice’ and expressing your sexuality. Or rather, there shouldn’t be. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. But so many times, the biggest complainers are other women. “She acts like a slut.” Does she really? Or is she just not afraid to show the same appetites as her male counterpart, the one you find so damned sexy? Why is the trait you despise in her one you admire in a man? Could it be that MAYBE you feel just a bit threatened by her? Hmmm, could you be projecting your insecurities onto her?
Should ALL heroines be like mine? No, of course not. Just as there are many many levels of sexual comfort for real women, the genre of romance should depict ALL types of heroines, from the (gag) timid virgin to the Sexual Goddess. A reader will seek out that which they are comfortable with or intrigued by. It is my job (pleasegodohplease) to provide those readers with a heroine I FEEL is part of today’s society. Do you have to like my heroine? Nope. I hope someone does. But if she is not your cup of tea, that is okay. All the flavors of the rainbow, ya know? Just let each color get equal representation.
Embrace your Sexual Goddess, however overt she may or may not be. Me, I am off to by more batteries and pencil in a quickie for Monday afternoon.