Who Am I?

Oh My Gawd!

I did it.

I quit my job!

For reasons too numerous to mention, the thought had been swirling in my head for a few months. My hubby and I discussed finances and the like and he began encouraging me to quit several months ago. I held out for a few reasons.

1) I loved my career.

2) I have never NOT worked outside the house

3) $$$$

4) How would I identify myself?

Think about that last one a minute, WHen you meet a stranger, first they tell you their name, then they tell you their occupation. UHm, I no longer have one. There is a gap in my introduction.  “HI, My Name is Inez and I am a…what?” What am I now?

I am a mother of 3, but that makes no impression on many people. I am a wife and a daughter and a sister. Again, so what? What value does that have in society? I have many stay at home friends who twist words and say they are Domestic Engineers. While it is a shame that women who dedicate their days and nights to preparing the next generation do not get the respect they deserve, it is a fact.

For decades, I have labeled myself one way or the other so that OTHERS would see my value. And that bites. I shouldn’t have to justify my choices to anyone. But Bite though it does, it is the way of the world. So now, according to those unwritten rules, my worth just plummeted in some eyes.

May their lips meet my behind in a puckered pose.

I choose to call myself a Writer. It is what I have always done but now, I will be able to do it for more hours a day. “Hi, my name is Inez and I am a Writer.”

Mary Sue characters in romances of decades ago were relegated to nurses or secretaries or teachers. Nice, safe, feminine jobs they could be whisked away from by the dashing hero who would validate them as women by the coveted title of MRS. HERO. Thankfully, that fell by the wayside and today’s female characters are not only able to stand on their own feet but firmly refuse to budge when said hero appears on that white horse. They are Fiefighters and Doctors and Scientists and business women with acute talents and abilities that do not pertain strictly to their ovaries. MRS. be damned, they do not need it. They have validated their own worth. ROAR WOMAN ROAR!

I refuse to be labeled by anyone but myself. I am not unemployed. I am a Writer. True, as of yet an unpaid one but that will change  (Hailmaryfullofgraceplease). Even if it doesn’t, it doesn’t change the fact that in my soul, that is who I am.

I am a Writer, a mother of 3, a wife, daughter, sister, friend, cook, maid, library volunteer, and a slew of other things. I have value because I CHOOSE to have faith in myself.  I am validating my own life.

Do I take a step backward? Nope, I took a step forward, to my future, my destiny, my dream. To write.

One small step for Inez, One giant leap for an Author.


Filed under Inez, writing

9 responses to “Who Am I?

  1. Ah. The Vorlon question. As Lorien put it, “That quite a question, isn’t it? There’s never a good answer.”

    But you’ve done a better job than most. Good going, Inez.

    And the best of luck on your journey. 🙂

  2. R.J.

    First, yay you!

    Second, lately I find that I’m hesitant to say the words “I’m a writer” or feel deep gut-wrenching pangs of guilt when I do utter those words. It started with a double punch from the response “What have you written? — Oh, you’re not published. So you’re a wanna-be” and a ‘critique’ where every single bloody line in a 15k-ish word piece I had written was completely rewritten. Do I really deserve to the title ‘writer’? At what point can I justifiably claim that title?

    See, I know WHO I am (I’m me!), I just don’t know WHAT I am… beyond daughter, sister, wife, and mother, that is.

  3. Congratulations, Inez. May I be able to follow your excellent example in the not-so-distant future!

    Don’t let anyone demean your choices. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom while my kids were at home, and I never allowed anyone to belittle my decision. When I got comments like, “You have so much potential. Why are you wasting your life?” I was known to respond, “I’m making sure the next generation gets off to a secure and confident start. What are you doing that’s more important?”

    Yep. I’ve always been a cheeky broad. *g*

  4. talesfromthecrit

    I actually had a woman at an Air Force Base in the family support center react with disdain when I told her I stayed at home with my boy. (This was years ago when he was a small baby.) She said, “We like our wives to do something useful.” O.o Oh, no you didn’t. I went off on her like you wouldn’t believe. (I was just going to use another analogy here but it occurred to me that it was crude so I didn’t, LOL.)

    I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with calling yourself a writer. I do it in every conversation where I’m asked and what’s more I don’t feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. When people ask me what I write I say, “Series mysteries and romantic suspense.” Like they could walk right in to the store and buy some. And if they ask me where they can buy my stuff, which most people don’t by the way, they just ask, “What have you written?” and I tell them some of what I’ve written they never seem to ask who published it or anything, I say, “I’ll let you know soon.”

    Go for it Inez. You’d be surprised how cool people think it is when you tell them you’re a writer and behave with the confidence that says you are. And as a side note, I love your blogs. They’re so fun.


  5. Christine Morris

    I am stealing that.

  6. Yay Inez!!!

    You are a WRITER and that is enough. You’re you. =)



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