I have been thinking a lot in the last little while about what’s makes the heroine that I hate. And I’ll be honest. I hate a lot of heroines. As long as I can relate to and appreciate the Hero I usually can deal with an annoying heroine. So here are the things I hate in a heroine. Chime in and tell me yours.
-An absurd level of physical attractiveness. This is just so annoying. When paragraph upon paragraph and page upon page are dedicated to rhapsodizing about the heroines lips and eyes and hair and perfect size four body. And how they are all so gaggingly perfect that strangers on the street stop and fall immediately in love based on her amazing boobs and innate goodness. Gag.
-A total inability to function outside of her role as the ultimate sacrificer for the good of everyone she’s ever met. Because without her constantly hovering on the edge of giving up all that is good and holy so that those she loves can hang on to all that they consider good and holy the whole book, nay the whole world, would collapse.
-Being perpetually too stupid to live. And I don’t just mean sneaking off from the DEA hero hoping to use only your sorrily lacking wits and your perfectly manicured nails to save the day but also continually misinterpreting every single thing the hero does as an offense against all that you believe. Both are nails on a chalkboard level of grating. No one that stupid deserves to live. I think they should be allowed to try and save themselves and see what happens. I think that would make a better book. And anyone who goes along merrily being insulted by every breath the hero takes when all could be resolved in five minutes of non-hysteria-induced conversation doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship.
Tell me yours. What ruins a heroine for you? I look forward to hearing about it.