What I would hate…

…about living in a historical novel. A follow up to my post two weeks ago titled What I Love About Historicals.

Again, I’m mostly focusing on the Regency England type of historicals, because that’s mainly what I read. (Thanks, Mom…)

1. I’m sorry, but just the thought of being laced into a corset on a daily basis is enough to make me want to scream. It was bad enough for 3 fittings and one long wedding to be laced into something that gave me a few extra inches. Day after day? Pass! I’ll take my Spanx, thanks!

2. No pants? Oh, big deal breaker. (As if women had the choice back then! Haha) I know that there are always the rebel characters who don’t bow to society dictates, but let’s just stick to the majority of society, shall we? For me, skirts and dresses are the exception to my wardrobe, not the rule. Day in and day out, I’m in jeans, khakis, shorts, capris, even *gasp* sweats. Asking me to carry 20 pounds of skirts with me on a daily basis is one way to have a very cranky woman on your hands.

3. Having to have a chaperone with you 24/7 when out and about? I value my independence. I like being alone sometimes. If I had to have had a chaperone every time I wanted to go to the mall as a teenager…bad news bears.

4. You start getting past the age of 22 unmarried and suddenly you’re a spinster. What?! Oh, craziness. Now, yeah I guess there’s a logical element there, people didn’t tend to live as long so you started having children younger, plus the added bonus of having more reproductive years to get that pesky “heir and a spare” and so on and so forth. But still. I got married at 22, and all I have heard about is how young I was! I couldn’t imagine getting married at 18. It would have been a disaster.

5. The slightest bit of scandal or impropriety and you’re suddenly a social outcast, a pariah where 20 minutes ago you were the cream of the crop. And to get rid of the scandal, you either accepted your social outcast fate and retired to the country, or got married ASAP. Oh, how quickly the tides turned back in those days. I had my rebel teen years, and I enjoyed them. Thoroughly. Never stepped so far out of bounds that I couldn’t jump right back in, mind you. But still, 200 years ago I would have been exiled from polite society by the time I was 12 with my personality!

6. The inequalities between the sexes would probably disturb me to pieces. (Probably? *snort*) A man isn’t even considered a man unless he has boffed everything in a skirt within a 20 mile radius, but ladies, don’t you dare go giving away the goods until your wedding day, or you’re basically worthless.

Hey you, yes you over there. You, young man. Do you have a mistress? No? Eee gads! You must be of the incorrect sexual persuasion! Go get yourself a mistress right now and have relations with her daily. It’s the manly thing to do. Better yet, get 4 mistresses, make up for lost time. You there, you young lady. Yes, the young woman of good breeding. Not married I see. Have you had sexual relations? You have? You floozy! Take yourself off to the country, or better yet, remove yourself to France, and never darken the streets of London again, you vulgar woman.

There we have it. Why I probably wouldn’t have made it to the ripe old age of 26 if I lived 200 years ago. haha Tune in next week for, well, something. I don’t know. Any suggestions on topics? 🙂

Jeanette

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