Category Archives: Inez

Farewell Inez….Introducing Voirey Linger

It is that time. I have enjoyed my adventures here on Tales From the Crit but I am so swamped, something has to give. As you can tell, I have been sadly lacking lately so yeah, this is it. Don’t forget me. Swing by my site HERE or my other blog HERE and say hey!  I am also guest blogging all over cyber space.

I’m sure I will be back to guest blog at some point and you KNOW I will not leave my girls hanging. So I will be around. Be Good Critters… or at least have fun while being bad!

Y’all be good to my replacement, Voirey. She is bad enough, she needs all the help she can get.

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Voirey Linger is the newest member of  Tales and author of Risking Eternity from Ellora’s cave. You can visit her website at http://www.voireylinger.com

For two hundred years, Dominicus has lived in isolation, sentenced to take human souls to hell. But this night’s victim is unlike all the others. She tempts him. One kiss and she comes apart in his arms. One taste, and he can’t walk away.

But Maggie isn’t the only temptation he faces. Dominicus fights an attraction to Renatus, his best friend through the eons and a male with whom sex is forbidden. With her, he risks Hell, with him, losing the only piece of Heaven he has left.

Talking about myself has never been easy. The spotlight has never been a comfortable place for me. If I can distract you with kittens, I will.

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When Inez told me I was taking her spot (This is the way things work with us. Inez is the boss of me.) and told me to keep the first post easy by just introducing myself, it made me wonder just how hard the rest of this blogging thing will prove to be.

I guess the best way to introduce myself is to talk about what I love; books.

I’ve always been a book-lover. My parents had to have a meeting with the principal so I could check out Misty of Chincoteague when I was in second grade. My school library said before third grade kids didn’t have the ability to handle chapter books. I still remember my disappointment when the librarian took the book away from me and directed me back to the picture book section.

My parents warned me that once I had this permission to access the older kids’ books, I had better not prove the librarian right. I didn’t need the warning. Checked out an average of 6 books a week for the remainder of my elementary school years, and didn’t slow down when I hit Junior High.

Then it happened. Something wonderful. Something divine. Something that would shape my entire career. Something my conservative mother still denies ever happened.

When I was about twelve I went in my mother’s room looking for something and spotted a book wedged between her nightstand and the bed. Assuming Mom’s book had fallen, I picked it up and was confronted by heaving bosoms and a dashing pirate. Definitely something shocking to find in my demure mother’s bedroom.

Of course I stole it.

I didn’t get to read much. It vanished from my room the next day. My mom didn’t call me out on taking it. That would require her to admit she had it in the first place. I didn’t ask her about it. That would mean admitting I took it. We just pretended the book had never been in the house and I never saw it again.

But it was too late. My entire concept of books had been changed.

It was another two years before I picked up another romance, but once I started, I couldn’t stop. I loved the strong and dominant men, the scantily-clad covers… and the sex. I really liked the sex.

It didn’t take long for me to go from reading the books to wanting to write the books. I asked for a typewriter for Christmas that year so I could get started on my new authorial career.

Unfortunately, and like so many other girls, I spent a lot of time hearing my efforts put down, first by my father, then later by my husband. It wasn’t until I had divorced, more than twenty years after I got that first typewriter, that I finally found support and encouragement.

The result of that encouragement is Risking Eternity.

Thanks, Inez.

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Filed under Inez, misc., reading, Relax with a book!, Voirey, writing

Humor and Pain

Have you ever whacked your elbow on the door? It stings! Funny bone, my butt, there is nothing funny about that.

So why do they call it the funny bone? I have no clue (I am sure I could google it but I am lazy)

This is my explanation. Humor and pain are so closely related, only a very thin razor edge separates them. Ever laugh until your sides hurt? Your jaw aches? Ever want to laugh at a funeral or in the middle of an argument?

Example: Tom and Jerry, the cartoon. Drop an anvil on a cat’s head, we laugh. Have a mouse drink an entire bottle of soda and slosh-walk to his hole where he gets his butt stuck, we laugh. These thing in real life would be painful.

Okay, those are cartoons, a human example – The 40 Yr old Virgin, the waxing scene. Ouch!! But we laugh. Do I even have to mention labor?? Pushing a tank through a funnel HURTS! and yet, we look back and 90% of birthing mothers laugh at themselves.

Why? Humor/Pain Just like the Greek drama masks, they are barely different, it is all in the delivery.

If I walk up to you and smack you in the face with a shovel, you are not going to laugh. But it isn’t you, it is a character in a book or a movie, so that is one point for relief. The second thing is HOW I smack you. Is it a loud crack with a curse or is it reverberating with a poiiiing sound and me telling you to eat dirt, liver lips? Delivery is vital. Thirdly, WHY am I smacking you? Did you just hit my kid or did you steal my twinkie? Does the reason merit the result?

And why in the crap am I rambling about this stuff?

Because I write humor (among other things) Actually, there is humor in all my work, just like there is pain. It is not all slap stick as my examples here are, but those are the most visual. Humor is subjective and must be handle just right to get a laugh. Too much and it becomes side show, a cartoon. Too little and well, booooooooooring. Likewise, if it is all verbal comebacks and zingers, snoooooooze.

The best types of comedy come with an element of pain, be it physical, emotional or psychological. It revs up that section of our brain that braces for the blow, tenses in anticipation and then… tickles it. The human mind adapts, copes and juggles what is too horrifyingly painful with laughter. It allows us to absorb the event while maintaining sanity.

Try this, the next time you are arguing with someone, husband, child, coworker, whatever, stick your tongue out at them. Then watch their face. There is a moment of blankness as their mind process it. They may keep arguing. But later, they will look back and giggle. Do it when you child scrapes their knee. They will laugh through their tears. That bored teller at the bank drive thru? Stick your thumbs in your ears, wiggle your fingers and go PBBBBBBBBBBT. I bet you get a smile.

And a smile is just a laugh, waiting to be born.

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Filed under Humor, Inez, writing

Inez scrambled and Kiss of the Rose

Yeah, I know, I have been AWOL. You know me. I go brain dead after a few months of working like a three-legged dog in a room full of fire hydrants. I completely flaked out the last couple weeks. I have a good excuse!

Check this out.

In April, I moved(with less than 6 weeks notice) over 600 miles with 3 kids. THAT right there deserves a freaking medal. JINXED came out in print the week I moved. (I love my friends who helped me promo that soooo much). I unpacked and found schools, pediatricians, grocery stores, my new bedroom and that NONE of my Christmas decorations made it on the move. Grrrrrr

In May, I realized that things were still in boxes and I was knee deep in edits. I hit both like tornado.

In June, SALOME AT SUNRISE was released during the Carina Press launch month. I did a massive blog tour, sometimes posting up to three places in one day. (never never never again).

Then Mother Nature got pissy and jacked the heat up to Hell-level. The real estate lady said we wouldn’t need air-conditioning this far north. She lied. Major fat freaking lie. I melted.

MYLA BY MOONLIGHT came out in print on July 6th from Samhain Publishing.  TALK DIRTY TO ME released from Carina Press on July 19th. Promo for both of those plus oh yeah, I have another release in August called COMING CLEAN.

Did I mention I also did edits on my November Samhain release titled LIPSTICK ON HIS COLLAR? No? I did. I also contracted a story titled MONSTER LOVE with Carina for release in January 2010.

There was a bit of writing that occurred during all this, too. Sadly, not a lot of housework was accomplished. I am thrilled to have so much of my work out there but the brain cells did crash.

So while my poor little brain regroups and plans it’s next wave of words, I leave you with a MUST READ.

First in a sexy new series that takes a bite out of the court of King Henry VIII

Desperate to defeat King Richard III and gain the English crown, Henry Tudor made a pact with the Druids that bound him and his heirs to the Druid’s deadly struggle against the Vampires. Ever since, the Llewellyns, an ancient Vampire slaying family, have been in the permanent employ of the monarchy.

Now Henry VIII is on the throne, and his father’s bargain has almost been forgotten. Until corpses drained of blood start turning up in the most inappropriate of places, including the king’s bedchamber. But are these people the victims of the Vampires-or of the Druids?

To save the king from a nameless assassin, Rosalind Llewellyn, Vampire hunter extraordinaire, must form an uneasy alliance with a known Druid slayer. Sir Christopher Ellis hails from a family that has protected the Vampires for centuries, yet Rosalind has no choice but to rely on his help. And with her life threatened and her loyalty tested, Rosalind may even have to acknowledge the unthinkable. This sworn enemy may be her soul mate.

Click here to purchase. For more information on Kate Pearce, visit her website or blog.

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Filed under coming soon, Inez, new release, Relax with a book!

Embarrassing stuff by mail

I moved from the mountains of Nowhere to the middle of Even Less. *sigh* There is a lot more available here but it is still far enough away from major stores as to require a drive. Since it summer, I have my kids 24/7 and there are just certain things I will not shop for with them in tow.

Hello, on-line vibrator browsing.

Now get your mind out of the gutter. I was buying prizes for upcoming contests/giveaways with Ginny Glass for our Dirty Laundry Series from Carina Press. There are adult goodies, soaps and other things we have planned for these Dirty Laundry Baskets. (follow me on twitter to catch the contests announcements)

So here I sit in my cozy office waiting for things to be delivered. Except in my new town, there is no mail to door delivery. Everyone has a post office box. Yes, the town is THAT small. The post office is literally a block away so Spawnetta goes daily to get the mail and it is not a huge deal.

See where I am going here? Yeah, she picks up a box and trots it home, never really giving it a second glance. It is a plain box, no markers, no alluring return name of anything. Nothing. Boring. She asks what it is. I tell her it is prizes for my writing stuff. She nods and goes back into the war zone that is her room.

Hubby comes home. I dutifully show him what I ordered had arrived. Cartoon eye popping and dropped jaw. “You let our daughter carry that stuff home?”


What? It’s not like the batteries were in and it was vibrating the cardboard as she carried it! She didn’t have a clue what it was.

But he was disturbed enough by this that I promised to never inflict that on my daughter again. No more postally contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I’ll go pick up my evil-adult-products-by-mail-delivery myself.

I don’t think Erma Bombeck covered this in any of her books.

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Filed under Humor, Inez, misc.

Grab a handful of magic!

Myla by Moonlight is available from Samhain Publishing in PRINT today!

I’m having a contest over HERE so come check it out.

Buy from amazon or MBaM or B&N


Magic bites… and its name is Myla.

Created at Prince Taric’s birth, Myla is a spell, an enchantment designed to appear and protect him when he needs it most. She has always been content to do her duty…until one night of forbidden passion leaves her longing to experience life—and love—as a mortal woman. Yet the risk is too great. Even if her blood runs as red as his, she can never give him the one thing he needs: a child.

Taric’s blessing—and his curse—is knowing the kingdom’s future depends on his producing an heir to continue the bloodline. His bond with Myla has always been that of protector and protected. When it suddenly becomes something much more, he unwittingly sentences his people to certain death.

An old enemy is plotting to destroy all he holds dear: his lands, his people, his father, and his lover. And this time, even if they fight tooth and blade, their shared magic may not be enough to save them…
Click here to purchase in ebook.


JOYFULLY REVIEWED calls MYLA BY MOONLIGHT a keeper!

Myla by Moonlight takes you on an emotional roller coaster ride that has many happy endings. A story that I can firmly say you will want in your fantasy/paranormal library to be re-read many times.

COFFEE TIME ROMANCE AND MORE give MYLA BY MOONLIGHT 4 Cups

Readers will love this action-packed fantasy adventure.

LONG AND SHORT REVIEWS gives MYLA BY MOONLIGHT BEST BOOK, Voted BEST BOOK OF THE WEEK(Dec. 20-26, 2009) and nominated for BEST BOOK OF 2009

Myla by Moonlight is one of the best books I’ve read in a quite some time. The author has brilliant talent. Not only was I drawn in completely by this magical story as it unfolded, but I was impressed with how beautifully it was composed.

THE ROMANCE STUDIO gives MYLA BY MOONLIGHT 4 1/2 hearts!

I highly recommend Myla by Moonlight for readers who enjoy sensuous tales loaded with magic and suspense that will keep you turning pages.

FANTASY BOOK REVIEW (Non-romance site) gives MYLA BY MOONLIGHT 7 stars

Perfect for whiling away an afternoon on the beach while you make your husband occupy the kids and have some well deserved ‘me’ time. Your husband may thank Ms Kelley for the sex scenes later…

SMEXYBOOKS gives MYLA BY MOONLIGHT 3.5 stars

Myla by Moonlight has a solid villain and a very sweet, sexy, and at times heartbreaking romance.

REALMS ON OUR BOOKSHELVES gives MYLA BY MOONLIGHT 4 Rosettes

With MYLA BY MOONLIGHT the love shined in all its facets, that of a parent for his child, the love between two friends and at the center of it all the encompassing love of two heartmates, the love of Taric and Myla. I inhaled it all as the voracious romance reader that I am!

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Filed under Inez, new release, reading, Relax with a book!

Happy Birthday Elise!

My friend and fellow author is turning *slaps hand over mouth* Okay, let’s just say it is her birthday and leave it at that. She is throwing herself a cyber party with prizes, cake and beefcake too.

It also marks the release of her new book TWICE AS HIGH. Filled with Russian crime, two blazingly hot winged aliens (not the illegal kind and certainly nothing like E.T.) and a menage plot that has brains as well as balls, it is a helluva good read.

Slide over to the party and say Inez sent you. No gift needed, just don’t lick the beefcake…much.

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Salome is here!

SALOME AT SUNRISE by Inez Kelley and Carina Press!

It’s not nice to piss off Mother Nature…

Bryton Haruk sets out on a suicide mission to stop the bloodthirsty Skullmen from terrorizing the war-weary Land of Eldwyn. Consumed by guilt over the death of his wife, Bryton seeks revenge and reunion in the afterlife with his lost love. His purpose is determined, his bravery unmatched, until the queen casts a spell to save Bryton from himself.

Salome is that spell. A bird-shifter, she can harness the earth’s breeze and take the form of a beautiful, innocent woman. Her challenge is to harness Bryton’s pain and guide him to peace. She entrances and irritates him, tempting Bryton from his mission. Even as he gives in to the passion between them, Bryton insists on mounting a solo attack on the brigands’ compound, and Salome fears her love won’t be enough to save him…

Celebrate Summer Solstice.

Salome at Sunrise from Inez Kelley and Carina Press.

Seize the day.

Buy it now.

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